Janus Bakery [Fountain Valley]

Janus Bakery - A lesson in how to give yourself a heart attack from being underwhelmed.

You could imagine my surprise at discovering that an Asian bakery lay only steps away from my SO's house on the corner of Brookhurst and Ellis in Fountain Valley. I drive by that Ralph's plaza daily and I went to high school right around the corner. How it managed to escape my radar, I'll never know. The fact that it did should have clued me into what was coming.

Janus Bakery is an offshoot to the popular Irvine J&J and while I haven’t been to its counterpart in a long while, Janus was bad enough to keep me away.

I was quite enthralled at the prospect of not having to drive all the way to Tustin for good sandwiches and built my lunch around a Dried Pork and Green Onion Egg. The bread was dry, but the sweet pork sung added both flavor and crunch to an otherwise boring egg patty. While there weren't any winners, this sandwich could have taken the consolation prize.

The breads and buns were large to the point of unsightliness and oozed grease even from the looks of them--you could see the gleam of fat glistening as the buns pressed up against their plastic shells. I know these things aren’t healthy, but I don’t need a visual reminder of the fat curdling in my body as I’m about to eat them.

My bad for buying a Cheese Bun that looked like a cheese-covered Loch Ness monster. I was looking forward to inhaling the ooey-gooey, fat-laden, 8” comfort food, but my side of heart attack didn’t even come with an eye-opening epiphany. The cheese was hard. It wasn’t even salty. And I wasn’t comforted in the least.

The Hot Dog Bun similarly lacked gusto and I could have done better wrapping a slice of Wonder Bread around Vienna Sausage straight from the can. These types of bakeries are usually able to deliver on the bun, even if the fillings are nasty as hell. But Janus’ dry and bland dough fell flat from start to finish.

Like any trained gourmand, I went straight for the coffee swirls in the Coffee Pound Cake slice. Bad move—imagine leaving your store-bought Starbucks Frappucino in the car on a sweltering day…and then having the bad idea to drink it. I didn’t think they’d stoop so low as to sell me spoiled food, so I kept going at the thing with an open mind. In case you’re wondering, no. It’s not an acquired taste.

At this point, you may be wondering what prompted me to write such a scathing review with biting wit? It’s so atypical of my style…

Worst, and I repeat, WORST of all, is the sour-faced woman working at the counter looking like she hasn’t be f*cked in ages. Even I couldn’t stand waking up to that face—and I had to endure it for all of five minutes.

And the pros? Everything is dirt cheap with most items ringing in under $1. They do have a good variety of sandwiches and there are also cakes available for purchase. If you’re the type who’s willing to settle for mediocrity, Janus Bakery is just the right place for you.

Janus Bakery
18279 Brookhurst St Ste 3
Fountain Valley, CA 92708
(714) 965-3088

My Vi Mi Gia #2 [Garden Grove]

As the name would suggest, My Vi Mi Gia specialized in mi, or Chinese-style egg noodle soup. While it is owned and operated by Vietnamese people out of Little Saigon, it is no less authentic or lip-smacking good.

My Vi Mi Gia's Mi Hoanh Thanh (Wonton Noodle Soup) comes piled with meats, fish balls, and wontons for your enjoyment. The soup is a straightforward brew of chicken broth, green onions, soy sauce, sugar and sesame oil and is well balanced without being greasy. Mi nuoc (soup noodles) is often eaten with dau chao quay, which are deep-fried breads that are similar to croissants on the inside without the flaky exterior. They are also known as Chinese doughnuts.

Who in their right minds would want noodle soup in the sweltering heat, you ask? The solution lies in mi kho, which literally translates to "dry noodles" and includes everything you'd get in your mi nuoc with the nuoc leo (soup) brought on the side. The other distinguishing mark is that the noodles are mixed with dau hao (oyster sauce) for flavor.

My Vi Mi Gia #2 serves nothing out of the ordinary and though the food may not blow your mind, it is a solid choice for mi noodles. Oh yeah, and it's pretty clean to boot.

My Vi Mi Gia #2
10141 Westminster Ave, Ste J
Garden Grove, CA 92843
(714) 537-3386

Wow Bao [Chicago]

While stopping by the Water Tower for a quick shopping trip, we spotted Wow Bao. It's a little stand, reminiscent of those found in a food court, and offers a different take on the traditional Chinese buns that are usually filled with BBQ pork. Behind the glass sat big silver steamers filled with a variety of buns.

For a healthier snack, I shared the whole wheat edamame and vegetable bun with M. The wheat bun was warm and soft, and the taste of wheat was inviting. The fillings were piping hot with a vegetable mix and little rounds of edamame. The buns are rather small for the price you pay (1.29 for one). You can definitely find buns for much cheaper at a Chinese store, but you probably won't be able to find them in all these different flavors (teriyaki chicken, spicy kung pao chicken, etc.).

Wow Bao
845 N. Michigan Ave.
Chicago, IL 60611
(312) 642-5888

Oriental Kitchen [Irvine]

The menu offers a small range of plates and bowls covering a wide range of the different Asian cuisines. I ordered a teriyaki chicken plate which included a side of noodles and salad.

As a to-go order, the teriyaki sauce came on the side and so upon opening the plate, the chicken was not a pleasing sight at all. It had a strange appearance to it and was placed haphazardly around the rice. Although I think that even with the sauce on the chicken, it wouldn't have made much difference. Rather than being a pleasant surprise, the taste reflected the sight quite well. For the most part, the chicken was dry and the sauce didn't to much to save the dish. The noodles were definitely under-seasoned and very bland. The best part was the salad which you can find practically anywhere else. It was just lettuce with red cabbage and miso dressing.

The side order of 6 pieces of gyoza for $2 was also displeasing. The pieces were small and the skin of the gyoza was strangely tough. My friend claims that she's had some of this before from the frozen aisle in the supermarket.

Overall, my meal was a huge disappointment.


Oriental Kitchen
4535 Campus Dr
Irvine, CA 92612
(949) 854-7247

Fourth Meal in the East San Gabriel Valley

RJ Patisserie [Hacienda Heights]

Since we had already eaten dinner, we thought we'd start off the night with some dessert at RJ Patisserie in Hacienda Heights. I had been checking out a lot of French-Japanese bakeries lately, so I thought I'd give the Taiwanese spin a shot.

The three display cases each housed sheet cakes, cake rounds, and sliced cakes. There was an entire mini case dedicated to the cheesecakes, which would lead me to conclude that they were a specialty of the bakery's.

However, we were looking for something more exciting and settled on a mango mousse and chocolate-coffee duo.

The mango-cheese mouse had a sliver of sponge cake inside and an out-of-place chewy pie crust at the bottom. The cakes tasted like mango and coffee and nothing more. They were very literal creations and qualified my requirement for lightness, but not worth checking out unless you were in the area. They were, however, quite large compared to their Japanese counterparts, which also run in the $4 range.

RJ Patisserie
1635 S Azusa Ave
Hacienda Heights, CA 91745
(626) 810-6678

---

Class 302 [Rowland Heights]

After coming across a review of Class 302 in the LA Times, I knew I had to give the quirky spot a try.

Class 302 may be the English translation, but the actual Chinese characters refer to the third year in school, second period. In Taiwan, restaurants are often themed, so Class 302 follows in that tradition with a classroom-style dining area.


The menu is written in childish handwriting on the blackboard, the dining tables are actual school desks, and your utensils dangle on the edge of the desk by a messenger bag. If you went to school in Taiwan, I hear that the experience can be very nostalgic with the uniform-clad waitresses, class president nominated dishes, and pinball machines at the front of the restaurant.

We were pretty full, but we trudged on for the love of food and settled on some stinky tofu and fish ball soup, which we figured would be pretty light.

The stinky tofu wasnt as stinky as I would have liked and it seemed as though it got most of its pungency from the sauce and fermented cabbage. We did, however, enjoy the fish ball soup, whose clear broth warmed our stomachs under the freezing cold AC.

Even though Taiwanese schooling rings no bells for me, I'd come to Class 302 just because its that's damn cute.

*Note: Our receipt said the place was called "Legendary Taiwanese Grill"

Class 302
1015 S. Nogales St., #125
Rowland Heights, CA 91748
(626) 965-5809


We also managed to check out Yummy noodle house for drinks and Dream to check out the Taiwanese clubbing scene. A regular at Dream told us that the club used to be pretty hopping about a year ago and now really only counts Wednesdays (lady's night) as a reliable night.

Tropika [Tustin]

Whether it was our Muslim guesthouse, Cantonese taxi driver, Indian saris, or Thai fruit stands, it didn't take us long to realize that Malaysia was a melting pot of cultures and cuisines. Penang had one of the most vibrant street food scenes we had come across on our travels through Malaysia and I can still remember the baos, rotis, and noodles being steamed, fried, and tossed all along multi-ethnic Gurney Drive.

And although I miss the times when food could be explored at its source, I found Tropika in Tustin to be a close substitute for a Southeast Asia vacation. I was impressed with both the interior and exterior decor, which reminded me of a tropical bungalow you'd duck in to escape the heat. The natural materials and dark wood grains that covered the walls, chairs, and shutters cast a soft light across the room while giving it textural contrast. The ambiance wasn't a far cry from some of the high-end Malaysian restaurants we dined in on our trip.

We started with the Roti Prata ($3) and Chicken Satay ($7). I had sworn off roti after ingesting loads of the greasy stuff on the streets of Malaysia, but Tropika's Singaporean version was paper-thin and crispy on the outside, doughy on the inside and with a touch of sweetness that soothed your tongue after dipping in the thin curry sauce. The satay wasn't peanut-based like its Thai version and was instead a play on sweet and sour.

The menu failed to mention brown iceberg lettuce as an ingredient in the Mango Salad ($6.95), which was our least favorite dish of the night. The salad had a good crunch to it thanks to the raw mangoes and bell peppers, but was doused with a sticky sweet and sour sauce that was less than appealing.

Although I wasn't thrilled at the prospect of fried tofu topped with seafood and veggies, the Penang Tofu ($12) was the star of the night. The tofu was fried to a golden crisp on the outside, but a single bite was all it took to reveal the custard-like softness of soybean on the inside. The thick egg sauce that coated the dish with a gaudy sheen actually had practical use in imparting even the blandest vegetable with a robust savoriness.

Penang Tofu - one of my favorite tofu dishes yet.

The Seafood Claypot ($14.95) paled next to the Penang Tofu ($12) and I'm sure the striking resemblance only added to the comparison. The seafood and veggies were combined with a light broth that was neither good nor bad, while the claypot seemed purely ornamental.

Our waiter seemed tongue-tied when asked for descriptions and recommendations ("everything is good"), though he did express skepticism at our order of two appetizers, one salad, and two entrees for three people (we weren't going to fall for that again). No thanks to him, I'll be coming back to get a better feel for the menu and other Malaysian treats such as Nasi Goreng, Hainan Chicken, and Asam Laksa. Portions were generous and prices were reasonable with entree averaging $13, though some seafood dishes were as much as $20.

Tropika
17460 E 17th St
Tustin, CA 92780
(714) 505-9908

The Wheel of Life [Irvine]

I didn't know many places with spring rolls in Irvine and found this place after some scouring. Some loved it, others didn't and I figured that the only way I'll really know if it's good or not is to go try it out myself.

Initially, I thought the sign out front said Vietnamese Cuisine but it actually says Vegetarian Cuisine.

I was greeted warmly upon arrival but after seeing that credit cards are not accepted for orders under $20, I had to make a detour to the ATM and come back. Five minutes wasted.

Most of the dishes on the menu are around $8 and are meant to be served family-style. They also offer a "lunch special" of food from the steam table -- i.e. combination plates of 2 or 3 at $8 or $9, respectively. I deterred from that because of the fast-food like appearance and got what I came here for along with a Thai iced tea ($2.50).

The iced tea was extremely sweet. I don't have Thai iced tea often, because the color stirs me, so I'm not exactly sure if they're all supposed to taste like this. I got my four spring rolls ($8.00) after a little bit of wait and dug in. The rolls were tightly tucked and looked appealing but my tongue says differently. I found that there was a blatant lack of fillings and not like the spring rolls I've had in Westminster or Garden Grove. Is it because this is a Thai/Chinese restaurant and not a Vietnamese one? The rolls had dark-leafed lettuce, cucumbers, fake chicken and nothing more! Where was the mint? Where was the crunchy stuff? The vegetarian chicken was decent -- I've had better fake chicken elsewhere. The sauce it same with was topped with chopped peanuts and had a spicy kick to it.

Even though I only had an appetizer for lunch, it was filling. But, I do feel that I was grossly overcharged for the quality of food I received. Their other dishes may have more potential -- I see that many other reviewers favor the pad thai.

The Wheel of Life
14370 Culver Dr., Suite 2G
Irvine, CA 92604
(949) 551-8222